Monday, April 28, 2008

4/29/08- You're missing out...

...If you don't go to and check out the tons of funny articles, blogs, hot chicks, podcasts, and hilarious videos like this one:

You only have yourself to blame if you don't register a free username and take part in commenting our content and downloading our podcasts over at right now.

Friday, March 7, 2008


As I still own the rights to post on this site(and seeing as I still have people signed up for my RSS feed) I might as well use this space to whore out my new place of residence:

Here's some shit that i've been up to over at

It's more then I could ever begin to do on this shithole of a server. So come and join me over at and be sure to take two minutes to register a username so that you can leave comments, download podcasts, and post on the forums.

Friday, February 8, 2008

2/8/08- When DAPS call, you must accept the charges(or else be forced to feel the wrath of Jean-Claude Van Damme)...

That's right gang, i'm moving to a different server(this time it's an actual domain name).

Effective February 17th, I will become an offical member of "The Dog and Pony Show"(for more info on them look right below this post).

What does this all mean?

Well, in simple-terms it means that instead of posting here, from now on I will be the exclusive official featured blog of (again, the site doesn't launch until the 17th, so it's just a splash/teaser page for now).

When the site launches there will be a sampling of some of my best work all ready and pre-packaged for a new and exciting audience. After all of the how-do-you-do best-of introductory posts are done with, I will start posting all-new material for your enjoyment. In other words: expect new material sometime around February 20th.

I would like to take the remainder of this post to thank Chris, Carlo, Andrew and everyone else over at DAPS for allowing me to join them in their new venture. Thanks guys!

See you all over at on the 17th.

Friday, January 25, 2008

1/25/08- This Week's Guest: The Dog and Pony Show...

In short: "Dog and Pony Show" is a comedy team that produce comedic videos via their website( [the site has all of their videos up, but the site is really just a teaser for now until it launches on February 17th]) that have become quite popular as of late. Being featured on Best Week Ever, the "featured" page on, and also getting a ringing endorsement from popular celebrity blogger Perez Hilton. Since there is no real way of accurately describing D.A.P.S. without fucking it up. I give you their official myspace bio:

"Dog and Pony Show (DAPS) is the brain-child of former college newspaper writers Chris Olivieri and Carlo Montagnino along with Andrew Sotiriou, who does something with computers that both Chris and Carlo find completely uninteresting. DAPS, as we lovingly refer to it, is (in theory) a weekly online magazine that offers a glimpse into the brains of the afore mentioned trio. The brain-trust is joined by their apathetic army of constituents, who should (hopefully) aid the brain-trust in creating content that typifies and illuminates the world view of the publication."

Answering questions are DAPS editors in chief: Chris Olivieri, Carlo Montagnino and Andrew Sotiriou.

1. First of all, how did you guys come up with the name "Dog and Pony Show"?

Chris: Me and Carlo started out DAPS writing for our college newspaper the Banner, we knew that we were going to do comedy stuff but didn't have a catchy name. Like any other smart comedy writers would do, we went directly to the source of all good comedy names 'A Business Term Dictionary' (Note: Wikipedia says; "The term has come to mean any type of presentation or display that is somewhat pathetically contrived or overly intricate, or put on for purposes of gaining approval.")

Carlo: Yeah, I think the name works out well with what we are trying to do. The funny thing is that many people ask "who is the dog, and who is the pony?" these people are ignorant to what the term means. The question is aggravating.

Andrew: The name was created while Chris, Carlo and I were spelunking off the cost of Costa Rica. I was talking about my dog...Scotty, who you can see in Dancing with Scotty, and 1 guy 2 cups...But while we were spelunking I was telling the guys about this cute thing my dog does when he gets confused and then we rode ponies up to the cave to go spelunking and thus we came up with Dog and Pony but we needed something to catch people's interest so we decided to add the word "Show"....thus we have Dog and Pony Show.

2. It's pretty clear that making short films is your bread and butter. What was the first film you ever made?

Chris: I've always messed around with video, the first one of note featured a "Barbie like" Alex Rodriguez doll who spoke in a heavy Cubanish accent... I made that one with fellow DAPS writer Damian Thomas. It aired on my high school TV station, and people were very confused.

Carlo: The first video I made was a sketch comedy show with two friends from high school called "Hot Lunch." A lot of odd humor and making fun of pretentious artfags. Then came the UA movie and the Urine Trilogy with a lot of the present day DAPS crew.

Andrew: Well, if you count High School Musicals since they were filmed, or the time that I performed on a cruise ship that was just recording though. Otherwise I think the first video I shot was with Chris in high School when we went to Antietam. I personally can't recall what the video was about I just remember feeling very ill afterwards.

3. How many people make up the comedy troupe that is D.A.P.S .? Who are they?

Chris: First we consider ourselves a comedy collective, because we write, do video, audio, and anything else that comes into our warped consciousness. There are the three of us who you are lucky enough to interview, The aforementioned Damian Thomas, former 'Cousin Brother'Mike Bongiorno, CSI Banner Write Will Kline, Adam Miller and our friends who prefer to be known as only "Flam" and "Lobsterman." We're also going to be hosting a podcast called DEGOCAST by the immortal Emilio Sparks.

Carlo: At the moment there is something like 15 people who all come in and out of the pictue (when schedules permit). We're pretty tight knit, which makes for a good time doing anything, especially being funny.

Andrew: We have good number of people with various degrees in comedy, every single person that has joined our crack team has a very distinct version of what is funny. For example, I think when Chris falls down a staircase is funny...he tends to disagree. Also I believe that when I take Carlo's digital camera and take 148 pictures of myself is funny...he tends to disagree.

4. Which one of your short films are you the most proud of?

Chris: "Offensive Macbook" is my personal favorite.

Carlo: I like subtlety, so I'm going to go with "Out of This World" Then I'll agree with Chris. "Homosexuwhales" is slowly creepping into the spotlight for me as well.

Andrew: How can you make me pick on child over the other? That's just wrong. It makes me cry on the inside. My inner mother is crying that you asked her to choose a child to live and one to die. Do you know how painful this is for me and also how painful this is for you. How heartless can you be....Anyways, I will go with.......(insert Jeopardy music)....What is "Hide and Seek with a Blind Guy."

5. Who and where do you draw your influences from?

Chris: Kevin Smith, Norm MacDonald, Dmitri Martin, Jim Gaffigan, & Conan O'Brien

Carlo: Pretty much everything. From people on the bus to Law Service billboards. Everything is funny to me.

Andrew: Andy Kauffman, Andrew Sotiriou, Christopher Walken, Andrew Sotiriou, Christopher Loyd, Flight of the Conchords, Chris Rock, The Rock, George Carlin and of course one of my most favorite comedians that has ever set foot on stage Andrew Sotiriou. This guy is hysterical he always makes me laugh.

6. What music are you guys listening to these days?

Chris: I'm a huge Less Than Jake Fan, I'm also big into The Matches,Say Anything, You Me and Everyone We Know... Oh and I know all of the words to Will Smith's 'Gettin' Jiggy With It'

Carlo: I like Medeski, Martin, and Wood. They are a really cool jazzy trio. Broken Social Scene is always in the mix. And any Heavy Metal I can find (pre nu-metal that is.)

Andrew: I grew up on punk rock and metal. Nowadays I am kicking it old school with a lot of Led Zeppelin, Queen, Rolling Stones, Rush, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. But realistically I listen to a lot of everything.

7. T.V. shows you're watching?

Chris: I'm totally addicted to The Biggest Loser right now (It's sad really.) Lost, Heroes, Survivor, The Big Bang Theory, Weeds, The Office, Entourage, 30 Rock, My Name Is Earl, The Office, CSI:, I'm also very upset that Veronica Mars got cancelled; Wow, I need a girlfriend... ::cries::

Carlo: I don't really watch much TV. I like Tim and Eric. You can't avoid Scrubs and Family Guy at the moment. 30 Rock is pretty hysterical too.

Andrew: There are only three things I consistently watch: Heroes, Giants games, and Rangers games. Otherwise I will try and catch: Scrubs, Futurama, Simpsons, Family Guy, Californication, Lost (only on DVD, so I can choose), Ninja Warrior and cartoons. I also have a personal obsession with watching the Food Network, the only problem is even if I just finished eating watching this channel makes me hungry no matter what. I can just see Alton Brown cooking a delicious Red Snapper en Papillote, the smell of the onions, artichokes, garlic, lemon...Oh my I seem to be getting hungry again. This kids is why I can't watch the food channel.

8. Where do you guys see yourselves in 5 years?

Chris: I think we'll have quite the following, be making lots of money, and I'll be Married to Kristen Bell. I gave her a pound last year, there were fireworks she just doesn't know it yet. (don't tell Carlo or Drew, but i'm planning on going Gwen Stefani)

Carlo: Doing the exact same thing, just with more exposure. By that I mean nudity. I'll be directing porn.

Andrew: I see me trapped in an office working on deadlines and making the young interns go get me coffee. For all those future interns out there, I like my coffee light and sweet.

9. Funniest thing you have ever seen?

Chris: I could watch Norm MacDonald's movie Dirty Work like 40 times a day.

Carlo: Ever? ummmm wow, I don't know.

Andrew: Christopher Walken dancing in the Weapon of Choice video? That was funny...I guess.

10. For those who don't know, what is it?

Chris: Porn for the mind?

Carlo: is basically the online home of our party. It's where people everywhere can engage in discussion with a group of creative funny people and really belong. We use the metaphor of a party. Everyone is invited to the party, it's not ours, or yours,it's just a party. Fun!

Andrew: is what it is. I will tell you that it is a whole lot of fun and everybody should start coming as soon as possible and some sweet awesomeness will happen in February 17th.

11. Lets end on some word association:I say Mayor McCheese, you say?

Chris: i'd hit that.

Carlo: Monster.

Andrew:Jerry Lee Lewis.

I say Cracker Barrell, you say?

Chris: Justin Harrell (of

Carlo: Cheese?

Andrew: Giant Robots.

and I say Fun Bubble, you say?

Chris: Virginity (as in I lost mine there)

Carlo: Oh the time when I was in 8th grade and got with some chick,then invited her to play with me in the ball pits during one of those dances. She looked at me like I was retarded. Very satisfying.

Andrew: Pin

Normally Here is where I would post a video of the persons in question that granted me the interview. But instead I direct you to their youtube page where you can go and decide for yourself which one of their videos tickles your fancy the most: (the "e" got cut off)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

1/23/08- The green elephant in the room...



We all have it. We all use it. We all don't give a shit about what using it is doing to the recording industry.

Limewire has become the biggest elephant in the room since the stunning revelation that Freddy Mercury was gay. I'm convinced that there is some government conspiracy at work here. I mean, if the government really wanted to shut Limewire down and subsequently force people to actually pay for music, they could easily do so. Yet they allow this illegal download service to thrive in a musical climate where album sales are down and illegal downloads are up.

I think that the rise of Limewire is responsible for the rapid decline in the quality of music in general. Before Limewire came around, people were actually forced to make informed decisions about what music they wanted to buy. The operative word being "buy". Now that people don't need to shell out money to get their hands on music, all artists need in order to have a hit song is a catchy riff and a chorus that is so repetitive that it drills itself into your brain to the point where you can't get it out of your head, and thus you're hooked.

It cheapens music to the point where you might as well just give it away for fre.....oh, wait.

Friday, January 18, 2008

1/18/08- The *REAL* Comeback Kid...

FuCk YoU!!!

...ME. Not McCain or Huckabee, me.

That's right, I'm coming back. Why? Well I'm glad I asked.

First of all, the reason I left in the first place was because I set out to post articles on a constant basis, and when my job and college work started to limit the amount of time I could put into this site, I decided to leave it.

Then something weird and exciting started to happen: My site was still getting around the same amount of hits it was getting before I left after I left. This was also coupled with several weeks of discovering different comics and bands that would be perfect interview material. Also, those two things combined were coupled with myself getting pissed off at something and no longer having a place to vent.

And all of that combined leads me to where we are now.

Effective January 21st, I will return to this site. But, there will be one little change. I will become Maddox-esque in my frequency of article posting. Gone are the days of trying to cram out gold material every day of the week. The reality is that it just isn't possible. I'd rather post a few times a week at my leisure and churn out brilliant articles that will get passed around the internet et-nausium rather then waste all of my ammo on a single post and then half-ass the rest of that week.

Finally, I am certainly not one to make mistakes or be off the money on anything that I say. But I can honestly say, with no doubt in my mind, that I was a fucking idiot for thinking that I could just leave this all behind and be done with it.

Now that that's off of my chest, this brings my total ratio of times I've been right vs. times I've been wrong to:

154,865,427 - Right
1 - Wrong

It's time to get back to work.