Tuesday, April 3, 2007

4/3/07- Phuck the i-Phone...

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In just a few short months Apple will be releasing it's brand new i-Phone. It does everything from play games, mp3s, and video to ummm whats the other thing that it does? Oh yeah, it's also a fucking phone.

I predict that the i-Phone will be the biggest technological bomb since the Segway. There is absolutely no possible way that this thing can catch on. The actual phone looks like a big piece of plastic and metal with a big ugly glass touch screen. Why would I want a phone with a touch screen? So that when it's in my pocket mixed in with my keys and pens and wallet they can accidentally hit the screen and call the cops to come fucking arrest me for the crime of wasting my family's hard earned money on a $600 phone that can play videos?

Why would anyone want to watch movies on their phone? Is there actually someone that impatient that they just can't wait an extra ten minutes to get home and watch Grey's Anatomy? Isn't this the reason we have the technology to record video? And you can also play shitty $10 games on your new $600 i-Phone. Oh joy! Just what I've always wanted, a $600 phone that lets me play fucking space invaders. For $600 this phone better be able to wash my fucking balls, make me a grilled cheese sandwich, AND have the ability to launch guided nukes at Iran. And as for mp3s, I thought that's what my fucking i-Pod was for?

Did I mention that it's also a phone?

Look, the bottom line is that the only thing Apple has ever been good at is making the i-Pod. They've never been able to outsell the Microsoft PC, and they aren't going to outsell Verizon(certainly not by offering the same shit that a Verizon phone can do for $450 more).