Well, here it is. The interview that should have stayed in my inbox's trash bin. It's that fucking bad. Again, let me stress that I would have been very content and understandable had Patton just said that he had too much fan mail and couldn't answer my questions. But if you're going to take the time(however short it was for him) to respond to an interview, don't half-ass the fucking thing or else you make yourself seem like a big holier then thou douchebag(which is what this interview makes him look exactly like). Don't believe me? Read the following interview and I dare you to tell me that he doesn't seem like he's too important to respond to a blogger. And before you read this, I left out one small detail(just in case you still think i'm getting angry for no good reason). You might want to pay special attention to question 12, where he explains to me that I have no readers. Also, in question 11, where I use the classic James Lipton question from "Inside the Actor's Studio", all he does is point out the fact(which was intentional on my part, by the way) that I stole the question from there. So enjoy!
1. How did you get interested in wanting to become a comic?
See my myspace or wikipedia bio.
2. How did your first stand up gig go?
Badly.
3. What was the worst job you've ever had outside of stand up?
Event deejay.
4. How did the comediens of comedy come about?
See The Comedians of Comedy wikipedia entry.
5. Any upcoming T.V. or movie roles?
See my imdb profile.
6. Whats on your iPod right now?
Friday Night Lights.
7. Whats on your Tivo/DVR right now?
Planet Earth.
8. A night on the town for Patton Oswalt consists of...?
Scotch and movies.
9. What was the worst experience you have ever had in regards to ever bombing on stage?
See my wikipedia entry.
10. In comediens of comedy you talked about good edgy comics that just don't have alot of mainstream exposure yet. Do you have a few people in mind right now that you would like to get the word out about?
See my Q&A thread on aspecialthing.com.
11. When you die, what do you want God to say to you at the pearly gates?
I'm sorry I'm ripping this off from James Lipton and that French dude.
12. Any parting words of advice for the readers?
There is no Them.