I was in a local deli the other day, when I picked up a copy of "High Times" magazine. Come, let me take you all through a wonderful journey through the cannabis laden pages of this weird, awkward periodical, shall we?
First of all, you will only need to buy one issue to realize that you only need to buy one issue....EVER! Seriously, it's the same fucking issue each and every month. And for those of you not lucky enough to live near a store that sells High Times, it's just what you are imagining it is. It literally is just pages and pages of weed bushels and bong accessories. It's like the stoner's equivalent of Playboy(one shows pages and pages of women, the other shows pages and pages of hemp).
Randomly scattered around the magazine are a few articles. And just as I previously stated, they're basically the same each month. There's an interview with some Jamaican dude, an article about wanting pot legalized, a couple of stoner stories sent in to the editors(ala Penthouse), and of course, an in-depth profile about every stoner's favorite show: Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
I will give them this much. May's issue is a special one because they showcase in it "Miss Stony 2007". Yup, just like Playboy would have Miss December or Miss July, High Times has a cover story on the most drugged out girl I've ever seen. It's a fucking shock she even remembered to wake up for the actual photo shoot after smoking all that weed.
But before I go I have one big question I would like all of you to ponder with me: If they proudly display tons and tons of weed in their magazine each month, actually show you how to grow the best weed, and probably see hundreds of letters filled with drugs to their offices each and every day, How come the police have never made a single bust? I smell a conspiracy theory.