This month's asshole:
Young Billy decided one day that it would be funny to play a prank on his girlfriend by tampering with her...well.....how can I put this, "feminine hygiene products". From this point on I'm going to just be very blunt and frank, so don't say I didn't warn you. He snuck into her bathroom while she was at work, took out all of her tampons, dipped them in carburetor fluid, let them dry, put them back into their cases, sealed them with glue, and waited for her to have her "time of the month"(note: carburetor fluid has been known to burn, but does not cause long-term after-effects). When that time came, he knew because his girlfriend called him in a panic and screamed that she needed to go to the hospital because "her vagina was burning". Ultimately, there turned out to be no signs of any infection or serious problem.....except when the girl found out from one of William's friends about the carburetor fluid on her tampons. Naturally she dumped his ass, and you can pretty much figure out the rest.
So for dousing your girlfriend's tampons in carburetor fluid, covering it up, and costing her a trip to the emergency room, as well as your relationship, You[William Jameson] are this month's "Asshole of the Month".
And remember, keep sending in your submissions for next month's asshole to firstname.lastname@example.org.