I have decided to write my most adventurous and creative opus yet: my FACTUAL life story. It is codenamed "The Masterpiece", and select random passages will be culled every so often for your reading enjoyment. Today's selection comes from chapter one, page 14. Enjoy!
"" Many people have asked themselves: Who is Vin Forte?, Why has God graced us with his presence?, And what exactly is he doing in my house? Well, I have an answer for them as well as an answer for the people who didn't ask any questions at all.
I was originally born in the Midwest to parents who could not take me in as their own. I spent many years in and out of foster homes because I was "too good looking" for them. I eventually joined the circus where I became master of ceremonies. But I was eventually kicked out because of my aforementioned rugged good looks.
As I travelled the United States I was thrown out of many schools, not because I was a "trouble-maker" but because I was too smart for my own good. I eventually made it to Michigan and saved a family from a fire in Kalamazoo. Then I traveled to Rhode Island and foiled a bank robbery in Providence. I was hailed as a hero and was awarded many medals. I had hundreds and hundreds of adoring fans and received my own holiday that rivals Christmas.
I eventually made it to New York where I was taken in by parents of undercover FBI agents working against the Gambino crime family. Now I spend my days fighting crime all across the world under an assigned name that allows me not to be noticed by any persons in the media or otherwise, I am known by all as "Pauly Shore". ""