12/31/07- The End: Part II...

Well, this is it. The final post.

When you really think about it, I've accomplished a shitload of things for a seventeen year-old this past year. I built a site that went from 2,000 hits per day up to 85,000 hits at it's best. Some of my articles have been passed around message boards, sent to people all across the web via e-mail, and have gotten hundreds of thousands of hits.

I also got to interview some pretty cool people. including Paul Scheer, Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel, Will Forte, Tay Zonday, Doug Benson, Karl Koch, Matt Senreich(creator of Robot Chicken), and Nick Kroll. Think about it. That's a huge fucking accomplishment in and of itself.

But enough about me, lets talk about you, the fans(yes, I have fans). Even though I am leaving this site to concentrate on radio, I am not forgetting about you. I have found a new way to give my uncensored opinion on stuff. Podcasting.

Starting on January 9th you can hear me every Wednesday night from 11:00pm-12:30am live at www.blogtalkradio.com/untitledshow. I will be joining "The Untitled Show": Hosted by myself and fellow DJ Andrew DiLorenzo. The show will consist of uncensored talk and new music. After every live show, that day's show goes up as a podcast that you can download onto your iPod by clicking the "upload to iTunes" link on the right side of the show page.

So, in essence, I'm not leaving, just moving to a new medium.

Now, on to the big "Thank You". Well, thank you. Thank you all who read my odd little posts. Thank you to everyone who sent me hate mail(and fan mail). Thank you to all of my guests from the past year. Thank you to [insert someone I have forgotten to mention].

Goodbye, for now. Remember: Never say never. I did not say that I would never return here, just that I am leaving.

I hope that you will all follow me over to "The Untitled Show" and support uncensored Internet radio and podcasts.

So long, Farewell, Goodbye, and in the immortal words of Paul "Fitzy" Fitzgerald: Go Fuck Yourself.

-Vin Forte(vaf89.blogspot.com and www.blogtalkradio.com/untitledshow)

12/24/07- Christmas Blowout Spectacular...

Well, here it is. At long last, it's the VAF89 Christmas Blowout Spectacular. Full of new shit, old shit, and shit that was just plain awful. Enjoy!


Here are some "B-Sides" that were cut because of either length, quality, or time-sensitivity:

http://bestofvaf89.blogspot.com/2007/12/b-side.html

Here is a college essay I wrote for my COM 100 class. It is a review of the movie "Psycho":

http://bestofvaf89.blogspot.com/2007/12/movie-review-psycho.html

Here is a report that I did last year for Media class. I had to listen to Podcasts of Bill O'Reilly's radio show and write a review:

http://bestofvaf89.blogspot.com/2007/12/bill-oreilly-is-motherfucker.html

Here is that "Failed Interview" I was telling you about:

http://bestofvaf89.blogspot.com/2007/12/my-failed-interview-with-yoko-ono.html

The best hatemail ever:

http://bestofvaf89.blogspot.com/2007/12/my-favorite-piece-of-hatemail-ever.html

Now onto the "Best of the Blog":

Most well-received post goes to "Hockey Monkey" because no one can deny the appeal of monkeys + knives + ice + Death Zamboni = Awesome. :

http://vaf89.blogspot.com/2007/04/43007-hockey-monkey.html

Most controversial post goes to my "Radiohead" post. People were completely split down the middle about this. :

http://vaf89.blogspot.com/2007/11/11607-in-rainbows-in-red.html

Post with the least amount of hits goes to "Ramen Noodles". No big surprise there. :

http://vaf89.blogspot.com/2007/05/5707-ramen-noodles-because-your-moms-on.html

Finally, the post with the largest number of hits with 483,000 goes to "Vin Forte interviews all three members of Human Giant". Not a surprise. My site was one of the first to jump onto the Human Giant bandwagon before the damn wagon even existed. Having your interview be at the top of Google's search engine under "Human Giant" for two straight weeks while being linked to from www.humangiant.com doesn't hurt either. :

http://vaf89.blogspot.com/2007/04/this-weeks-guests-paul-scheer-rob.html

Now go and enjoy your Christmas, folks. Also, Fuck Chanukaha! Fuck Kwanzaa! And while i'm at it, Fuck political correctness! I'll be back on December 30th with my final post. Until then, go fuck yourself.

12/9/07- The End: Part I...

To answer all of the e-mail that I have been receiving: Yes, I am hanging up my hat and leaving this site behind.

Effective December 31st, I will no longer be posting articles on this site. The reason? Well, there are several. The first, and most important, being that I work at a local radio station(WSIA 88.9fm) here in New York, and working there takes up a shitload of time. Then you add in the fact that I am now in college, I have assigned essays to type up, homework to complete, studying to do. Also, when I'm not dicking around at the station or writing sociology essays, I'm working at my medium-wage job to make enough income to stay above water.

Quite frankly, I don't have enough time in the day to post as frequently, or as passionately, as I would like to. So I have decided to go out on top and get out while the getting is good. My hits are at an all-time high(83,000 hits per day as of 3 weeks ago). This sudden burst of readership started to happen after I posted my exponentially negative review of Radiohead's new shit-tastic album. Apparently more people agree with me than I expected. And the hits grew from there.

As stated before, I want to start investing more time into my radio career. Working on my show, tooling around with it to find the right mix of concept and music, culling an audience and whatnot. The only reason I started this site in the first place was to have an outlet to vent and explore different ways of coming up with recurring segments and to have an outlet for all of this until I could score a radio gig. But now that I have one, I must go and work on it until I can reach the next stage of my career.

What happens now? Well. On December 24th, I will post, as promised, my "Christmas Blowout" of rare posts, essays, best-of posts, and failed interviews. After Christmas, on December 30th, I will post my final article on this site. What will it be about? Well, judging by the fact that THIS post is called "Part I", it will most-likely be "Part II".

What will happen to this site? Will I ever return to it? Is Tupac still alive? Answers to all of these questions and much, much more to come in "Part II". Until then, enjoy the ride while it lasts, because it isn't going to get any better than this when I'm gone.

12/4/07-12/8/07: Countdown to something...

Oh, hello. I'll be stunting the blog until Sunday, when I make a big announcement. What is "Stunting"? "Stunting" is where you use video and/or sound clips that carry a recurring theme that tips off the listener/viewer/reader as to what the big announcement will be at the end of the aforementioned "Stunting". Videos will be posted sporadically until Sunday. Hint: The first video REALLY premiered during the last "Saturday Night Live" post.













Find the running theme in the first 3 videos, then the last 3, and take a wild guess. More details on Sunday...

12/3/07- Indie sucks and you know it...

I'm sick and tired of all of these college student, Liberal douchebags bombarding me with their holier-than-thou, my-shit-doesn't-stink attitude about Indie music. It sucks! You're not going to convert me, shut the fuck up!

Why do these Indie-lovers hate every big label band? Their excuse, most of the time, is that all of the big label bands have sold out. How? Because they're actually good and can gain large followings outside of small factions of college students that don't already listen to either Pop or Rap? It's all complete bullshit.

Now i'm not saying that ALL Indie artists suck. But it is very fair to say that 90% of them do. What ever happened to just liking music? Just listening to something, Indie or not, liking it enough to buy the record, and just enjoying it. Why should I care if some college Liberal, vegan, pale-faced nobody thinks that I suck because I listen to Foo Fighters and not Tegan and Sara?

Fuck you! I'm not falling for it. I'll listen to whatever the fuck I want, when I want, and no pussy Indie suck-up is going to tell me otherwise. All of you shitheads who will only listen to Indie music can go beat-off to back issues of Alternative Press.

I simply just don't care about you and I hope that one day you are driving in your car and hear a song by Green Day from 1994 and thoroughly enjoy yourself, stop your car, realize that you have just enjoyed a song by a major-label band, and then proceed to admit that you have wasted your life and promptly drive off of a fucking cliff, subsequently dying in an inferno of fire and self-pity.

12/1/07- Saturday Night Live...

This week's live cut is of Elvis Costello and The Attractions playing "Radio Radio" live after abruptly stopping "Less Than Zero". This was in protest of his label ordering him to play the less rebellious "Less Than Zero" over the controversial "Radio Radio" on Saturday Night Live back in the late-70's. Enjoy.

11/30/07- Al Gore is a douche and so are you...

Fuck global warming. Why? Because it's wasting time that is part of my life and yours. Here's a little news flash for you: global warming doesn't fucking exist!

It was made up by scientists who desired money from the government in order to fund their other projects. But without the inclusion of a project like researching ways to stop the Earth from heating up into a ball of fire, they could never have gotten research grants from the government.

Also, these are the same fucking scientists who, back in the late-80's, said that we were going to be experiencing an ice-age in twenty years. Well, it's been twenty years and these assholes are now saying that the Earth is going to get warmer instead of colder? Why would I buy into anything they have to say after a huge fucking blunder like that?

As for the "proof" that the polar ice caps are melting, that's just the fucking liberals bending the truth. The fact is: there is ice, there is also a huge fucking fireball in the sky called the Sun, when the two meet it make the ice melt. What those liberal fucks aren't telling you is that the ice caps are regenerating at a faster rate then they ever have before. Whoops.

And then there's Al Gore. Al Gore is a giant douche and I don't give a shit about him in the least. He claims to be the savior of global warming, but in reality he flies around in Gulfstream jets that emit more carbon emissions then 10,000 Hummers. He also lives in a huge mansion that does not operate off of green power such as solar or wind. But the biggest snafu when it comes to Al Gore is that stupid Live Earth concert that was put on this past year. Great fucking job, Al. Do you realize how much pollution was created by THAT many people driving THAT many cars to one single location and throwing all of their trash on the ground while all of those performers fly to the concert in their big, carbon emitting jets? Once you figure out how much carbon was emitted from the drive to the concert, be sure to double that number to account for the trip back home from the concert.

The bottom line: There is no global warming crisis. The Earth's heat cycle goes in patterns. Every few decades there is a run of Indian Summers and heightened temperatures. This is also followed by a run of colder temperatures. Don't believe me? Google the yearly seasonal high and low temperature records from 1900 on, and you'll have all the proof you need to debunk Al Gore.

11/28/07- Paul Scheer talks to me about the Writers Guild of America strike...

(left to right) Aziz Ansari and Paul Scheer on the picket line.

Writer, star of such shows as Human Giant and Best Week Ever, Upright Citizens Brigade alum, and good friend of the blog, Paul Scheer took some time out to talk to me this week about the W.G.A. strike and is here to break down just what exactly this whole strike actually means for the writers and you.

1. Most people have no clue what this writers strike is actually about. Quite frankly, what is it all about?

It's kinda complex but at the same time pretty simple. The Writers Guild protects the Writer's rights and helps create programs for residuals, payments, health care etc... and the Producers Guild represents the producers, they want to make sure that they get properly compensated for the projects they invest in.

The big hot button issue is that the producer's guild doesn't want to pay the writers for any of their projects in new media (mainly the internet). For example something like "Webisodes" from your favorite shows are written by writers and so far their hasn't been a program to compensate them for rendering such a service. The same is true for internet downloads. The writers believe that they should share in the revenue of these new types of technology but the producers keep telling the writer's it's too soon to tell if the internet is going to be profitable. However they are simultaneously telling their share holders that the internet is the future for new additional revenue. So something doesn't add up.

In 1988 during the last writer's strike the Producers made the same case with Home Video. They didn't believe Home Videos would be profitable and the writer's believed them and they saw very little revenue from the Billion Dollar DVD and VHS market. So this time the writers were cautious not to get screwed over.

For more detailed and better analysis of the situation check out www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com and www.unitedhollywood.com

2. What will the strike mean for people's favorite t.v. shows?

Well daily scripted Talk Shows were affected first. Shows like the Daily Show, Letterman, Colbert, Conan, etc...All have been in repeats for the last 2 and 1/2 weeks since the start of the strike. As far as scripted shows go right now people aren't really going to notice a big difference right away but in a few weeks scripted shows will also be going into repeats because the scripting of new episodes stopped when the strike started and once they run out of scripts shows go dark. Hypothetically if the strike was to continue for a long time. The only new shows you'd see would be REALITY SHOWS. Which would suck.

Movies are also being affected, for example The Davinci Code Sequel stopped Pre Production because of script problems that can't be fixed because of the writers strike. Even work on the new Star Trek Film has been compromised because JJ Abrams who is a WGA member as well as a director can't script any new lines while filming because doing so would violate the WGA stance on writing during the strike. Those are just 2 examples from a wide array of problems in the feature film world. So as you can see the problem is BIG.

3. Do you see the strike coming to an end anytime soon?

On Monday, the Producers and Writer's Guild have agreed to return to the table to continue negotiations after 2 weeks of silence. So that is a really good sign. But no one can be sure about when exactly this will end. However once both sides can agree to a fair deal and TV and Films can start again.

4. What is it like out there on the picket line? Are you finding it to be a suprisingly good place to network with other writers?

The Picket lines in NYC are a lot of fun actually unless it's raining, then it kinda sucks. But we do get to march around one of those one of those big inflatable pigs, that is pretty awesome. Obviously we are there with a defined purpose but it's great to see familiar faces and hang out with people who normally are swamped with work to do anything. I'm just really impressed and honored to be in a community who have come out in such a big way to support each other and this strike through picketing, viral videos, blog posts and even fund raising shows, like SNL and 30 Rock's live UCB Theater performances for the production staff of their shows.

5. What will be the impact of the strike on people who have roles other then a writer(such as producer, camera man, tech guys...etc)?

Production staff unfortunately is taking the biggest brunt of the strike because they are being fired from their jobs as shows and films stop production. Essentially many people are going on unemployment and unfortunately at the end of the strike these people won't benefit either way. The WGA and Producers Guild recognize that and it's in their best interests to get people back to work. I know this is one of the most troubling aspects of the strike for me. But luckily many of these people in production have been supportive of the writers and their stance, which is great.

A skit by Fred Armisen dealing with the strike:

11/27/07- VAF89 Mailbag...

This month's hatemail:

Jordan from Westchester, P.A. writes:

"How can you say such things about Kanye West so soon after his own mother died?"

Well Jordan, it would seem as if you have a rare case of mental retardation with a slight outbreak of down syndrome, so i'm going to spell it out for you: I can say these things because they are based in logic, proven true by example, and wrapped in a blatant display of ego. Besides, if Kanye West, for some godawful reason, actually cares about what some seventeen year-old douche like me thinks about him on the internet, then he really is a bigger narcissist then i'm painting(and proving) him to be.

Dave from West Palm Beach, Florida writes:

"Why isn't Radiohead on your stupid list of the top 5 greatest bands of the 90's?"

First of all, if my list is so stupid, then why did you care about it enough to write me a letter? Second of all, as I have explained in a previous post, Radiohead has been getting way too much credit lately for releasing their album for free online(which I am calling a desperate move on their part to garner publicity). Go on Wikipedia and check the facts. "Creep" was a big hit in the mid-90's here in America, but was never topped. If you really want to get technical, they can be considered a one-hit-wonder. Before people go e-mailing me yet again, yes, I realize that they have maintained popularity in England, but as is the case with many one-hit-wonders. Shit, half of all of those 80's one-hit bands have seen some form of continued success across the pond, but have never been able to top themselves here in America.

Dana from Hoboken, New Jersey writes:

"At then end of your post about radio sucking so badly in a politically correct world, you said "Fuck Opie and Anthony". Why? What the fuck did they ever do?"

"What the fuck did they ever do?" Well, besides stealing ideas and bits from Howard Stern, not a goddamn fucking thing. They are one of the main reasons why radio sucks, because they are a prime example of how unoriginal and stale regular radio has become. They can't come up with interesting shit to say on their own, so they "shock" their audience with bits and gags that Howard Stern has been doing for years. Also, they are screwing their fans over big time. Why would someone who paid for a subscription to XM, just to hear Opie and Anthony, keep paying their monthly fee when they can hear most of the show on regular radio for free?

11/26/07- State of the Blog...

The Rundown:

* I'm back. After stuffing my gullet with piles of the most delicious feast that you can imagine, and subsequently becoming ill with the flu because I was forced to deal with anemic, sickly customers all weekend at my job, I am back(you know you missed me).

* Interviews. Yeah, I know. I dropped the ball on the whole interview thing the past month. But I actually did make an effort to get people, it's just that when I threw out a line, no one bit. I'll try harder this month. But I was also a little sidelined by my next bullet point.

* My radio show. Yes, it is indeed true. I finally have my own radio show. It is broadcast once a week from 4:00pm-7:00pm every Wednesday on WSIA 88.9 fm New York. I know that 90% of you do not live in the radius of the station's broadcast signal, so come Wednesday, be sure to listen online at www.wsia.fm. Also, call me up and make a request, toll free, at: 1-(718)-982-3060.

* Christmas blowout. I made mention of this in the last S.O.T.B. This Christmas, I will be taking an extended Christmas break. Instead of leaving just a "Best-of", I will be leaving you an entire year-end blowout ensemble that should make you forget all about the fact that you got clothes for Christmas instead of an X-Box 360.

The following is a list of treats and rarities that you will find in the aforementioned "ensemble":

- A "Best of the Blog 2007 edition" highlighting links to some of the best posts of '07.

- Rare message board posts made by me.

- An exclusive "failed interview" that makes my interview with Patton Oswalt look like my interview with Human Giant.

- Slightly humorous essays from my High School era.

- B-side material that was too lengthy to cut it as part of just a cutting-room-floor montage at the end of each month, yet lacking large amounts of the normal dry wit and slight humor that would constitute me posting it on it's own.

- And much, much more(ok, not too much more, but maybe a few other things).

11/21/07- Californication vs. Californication...

You may have heard that the Red Hot Chili Peppers are suing Showtime over the title of their latest hit show: "Californication". Some un-informed douchebag posted this on AOL NewsBlogger:

"The Red Hot Chili Peppers have sued Showtime over the title of the network's show "Californicating," claiming that the word is associated with the band. This seems foolish. First of all, they aren't the first band to think of it. There's a J. Geils Band song called "Californicatin'" from all the way back in 1984, from an album called "You're Gettin' Even While I'm Gettin' Odd" (now, that's original). Second of all, isn't this just a ploy by the band to get more publicity?"

This shithead could not be more wrong. There are many things wrong with that paragraph. The first being that the show is called "Californication"(like the Chili Peppers album and song) not "Californicating".

Second, the J. Geils reference is moot because their song is called "Californicatin'" NOT "Californication". Not that anyone even knows of "Californicatin'".

Third, the fucking word "Californication" IS associated with the band. It was their biggest selling album and their biggest selling single to date. They have excellent grounds to sue. When I first heard of the show "Californication" I thought that the band had an input in it somehow(something along the lines of the show using their music as a soundtrack). Also, I guess that this very informed "news writer" forgot to mention that there is a character on the show named "Dani California". Oops!

As for this putz claiming that this is a way for them to get publicity, I say this: Why would they need it? They've been around since the late 1980's and are still making commercially successful albums that are also beloved by critics.

Let me put it to you this way: if you were a band, and the titles from two of your songs as well as your most successful album were being used to sell a T.V. show for profit, wouldn't you want some fucking royalties?

11/20/07- Karma's a bitch...

Back in September I posted my thoughts on Kanye West and how he has a huge, Trump-esque ego(see here: http://vaf89.blogspot.com/2007/09/91907-kanye-west-doesnt-care-about.html). I had a strong feeling that Karma would find it's way into his life one way or the other, and I was right.

Last week his mother died from plastic surgery malpractice. While in any other case I would feel sympathetic, in this case I can only just stand back and say that Kanye has finally paid for his big, overblown ego with his mother's life.

Why? Simple. Kanye and his mother grew up poor, humble people. Once Kanye got a little cash from his record sales, he was bitten by greed. In turn, his mother was also brought into the equation because she was his manager. She used Kanye's money to get the plastic surgery that killed her. So, in a way, Kanye West killed his own mother because if he never made all of that money off of stealing other people's instrumentals, his mother couldn't have taken his money, and couldn't have gotten plastic surgery, and wouldn't have died.

Also, it was reported that he broke down and cried on stage during a performance the other day. This further proves that Kanye West has a huge ego. Even though his fucking mother just kicked the bucket, he somehow still found time to perform instead of being with his family.

And don't fucking e-mail me saying: But Vin, he has contracts to obligate, he can't cancel all of his shows. Bullshit! The White Stripes canceled an entire leg of their tour last month because Meg White had a cold. If you can cancel an entire tour schedule for a fucking cold, I think that you can cancel a few performances because your own mother died.

11/17/07- Saturday Night Live...

This week's live cut is of Wolfmother performing "Joker and the Thief" live at the Rock AM festival on June 6, 2007. Enjoy.

11/16/07- Top 5 Rock Bands of the 90's...

#5- Pearl Jam:



The importance of Pearl Jam can't be ignored. It seems like there were dozens of Eddie Vedder rip-offs running around after Pearl Jam jumped on the scene. Their sound is, quite simply, one of those things that is often imitated, never duplicated.

#4- Red Hot Chili Peppers:



While Pearl Jam hasn't seen very lucrative record sales with their recent albums, Red Hot Chili Peppers have seen very consistent sales dating from 1990 up until today. Hell, "Stadium Arcadium" is one of their highest selling albums yet. While I don't see a whole lot of bands trying to steal their style, this may be due to the fact that it is pretty fucking hard to duplicate. When you hear a Chili Peppers song on the radio you can always tell by the first words out of your speakers that it is them.

#3- Green Day:



They have everything needed to make a legendary discography. The underground success, the hit album, the follow-up album that sells 4,000,000 copies but somehow still doesn't equal the success of their last, the next album that is considered solid but not as good as "Dookie", the quintessential flop album that becomes nothing more then a blip on the musical radar, the near death sentence of releasing a "Greatest Hits" album and a B-Sides album at the same time, and their latest resurgence at the hands of a rock-opera with political undertones and a plotline that is strangely reminiscent of something by J.D. Salinger. While they've won and lost and won back some fans along the way, there is no denying their staying power and ability to adapt to the times yet remain true to their music at the same time.

#2- Weezer:



After the death of Grunge(a.k.a. Kurt Cobain) Weezer was the first big band to emerge and set the tone for the next wave of Alternative music. But their impact, while big at the time with their revival of the "geek rock" style, would not be felt until a distant twelve years later when the entire genre of "EMO" would be attributed to them. ??? What? Well, apparently all of these "EMO" bands of today were really big fans of the album "Pinkerton"(which had emotional and raw lyrical content) and they took that to mean that by complaining about every little problem in their songs that they were somehow following in Weezer's footsteps, despite the fact that Weezer actually did have legit problems that they were making songs about, unlike all of these knock-offs that have dubbed themselves "EMO". So for better or for worse, Weezer comes in at number two for influencing an entire genre of music a full twelve years in advance.

#1- Nirvana:



I know, you saw it coming a mile away. You already know the story. A band from Seattle makes it big, influences every aspect of the youth culture, makes two great albums, Kurt Cobain kills himself, big legacy, Generation-X, Dave Grohl starts Foo Fighters, Foo Fighters become huge, there's a happy ending after all. But in all seriousness, while Weezer influenced a genre of music twelve years in advance, Nirvana created a genre of music in their own time. For that, they have more then earned the top spot.

11/14/07- Asshole of the Month...

This month's asshole is:



Salvatore Roberts of London, England.

Our man Sal invited some friends from the States over to jolly old England for some tea and crumpets last summer and wanted to make damn sure that it was a trip that they wouldn't soon forget.

So, on the last night of his friends coming to visit him, Sal decided to make brownies for desert. But not just any brownies. No, these brownies were carefully laced with a potent mixture of Hashish and Peyote.

Upon ingesting the brownies, his guests started to hallucinate and become relaxed. This was mainly to distract them from the fact that he also put extra-strength laxatives in the brownies. When everyone woke up the next morning and the drugs started to wear off, they were all stunned to find that they had been sleeping, the entire night, covered in their own feces.

Naturally, they freaked out and left Sal's house vowing never to return. The closest thing they could get to revenge was contacting me and allowing me the distinct honor of awarding Salvatore Roberts as the "Asshole of the Month".

Be sure to send your submissions to assholeofthemonth@hotmail.com.

11/12/07- Radio killed the radio star...

The past few years have not been good for radio(unless you're Sirius Satellite, in which case, you currently hold the world of radio by it's balls).

It seems like you can't say anything anymore. These big corporations such a Clear Channel and Emmis broadcasting hire interesting personalities from smaller markets, tell them to mix it up on-air and be interesting, and then when they actually say interesting and controversial shit they get thrown out on the street with nothing more then a blacklisted career and a voided contract.

Also, this whole deal about radio stations flipping formats needs to stop. There is absolutely no reason why New York(market 1) should be getting rid of their only modern rock station to make room for another talk station, just so they can spite Howard Stern and load the whole station with watered-down versions of him.

But while they're getting rid of their only modern rock station, there are at least six different variations of dance/hip-hop stations. On top of that, these stations don't even play real dance music. They play remixed versions of pop songs.

Terrestrial radio better pull the reigns back soon. Because while Clear Channel has it's head up it's ass, Satellite radio is becoming the fastest growing new technology in history(beating out cell phones). Why? Because there are no limits on Satellite radio. You can actually be interesting and not have to worry, on a daily basis, about if you will live to work another day.

Fuck Clear Channel, Fuck the FCC, Fuck Opie and Anthony, Fuck Free FM, and Fuck the 6 stations here in New York that play pop/rap/hip-hop remixes!

11/10/07- Saturday Night Live...

This week's live cut is of Jimmy Eat World performing "The Middle" live on Conan back in 2002. Enjoy.

11/9/07- WSIA 88.9 fm...

If you just so happen to live in the New York City area, then you might have heard of WSIA 88.9 fm(Alternative). It is one of the most listened to college stations in America with a reach of over 2.5 million people.

I will be doing an on-air demo this Wednesday night from 8 until 9. This means that, barring some massive on-air meltdown, by the end of November I will be hosting my own show. More details on that to come in time.

As of now, I am already a part of "The Coach and Face Sports Show" that airs every Thursday from 7:00pm until 9:00pm. The show is primarily NFL based, but spreads out into other sports after the NFL season.

You can listen 24/7 by going to www.wsia.fm or, if you live in the New York metro area, by tuning into 88.9 fm. The on-air request line is 1-(718)-982-3060.

11/7/07- You're not cool(or original)...

I've had it up to here with Myspace. Sure, I respect the fact that it allows you to carve out a small niche for you to express yourself and keep in contact with friends. But I've had just about enough with all of these Myspace whores and their oh so generic and annoying profiles.

About 99.9% of every Myspace whore's profile can be described in the following paragraph:

Annoying profile song by some shit-head rap artist who will fade away just as fast as he appeared. Bright, sparkly, pink backround layout. Avitars of Boy Meets World, Family Guy, and Dane Cook. A big sign that reads: Beer pong champion. An "about me" description that contains more misspelled words than an essay on the Louisiana purchase written by a five year old with down syndrome. A bunch of comments by her other shit-head celebutard wannabe friends that say nothing more then "Yo U CuMmiN 2 Da PaRTy dIs WeEKeNd???". And of course, those oh so clever Myspace whore display names.

I swear to fucking God, there is actually a girl who has the display name: "they feen for her statuS- quO<3"

The only "status quo" this bitch is aspiring to achieve is drinking enough to not realize the fact that the condom broke, and now she's a 19 year-old college drop-out who now has to take care of an unwanted child while getting fat off of a diet of Funyuns and dog food because she was too fucking dumb to get a real job because she dropped out of college because she got pregnant because she drank to much because she was trying to achieve her idea of a "status quo".

I must stop here because if my whole "status quo, Myspace whore" rant didn't just prove my point, then nothing will.

11/6/07- "In Rainbows" in the red...

"That pot of gold at the end of Radiohead's Rainbows may not be as full as thought. The band's ballyhooed In Rainbows, available only online at a price set by individual fans, may not be the paradigm-changing, label-killing force it's been hyped to be. A new study says nearly two-thirds of respondents indicated they didn't pay anything for the download." -Josh Grossberg, E!-News Online

I for one knew that this was going to happen. Why in God's name would someone willingly pay for music that they have the option of getting for free? It makes no sense whatsoever.

First of all, the media at large has been giving Radiohead way too much credit lately. This whole plan of theirs to release their album for free on the Internet isn't clever or inventive, it's desperate.

I mean, come on. Have you seen the sales of their last five albums? They sucked. I'd be surprised if Radiohead bought Radiohead's last five albums. It might just be me, but I always considered Radiohead a one hit wonder from the 90's. They had that one big song "Creep" and then dropped off of the face of the earth, until now.

Why now? I don't get it. This fucking band went into oblivion for ten years and all of a sudden are being treated like geniuses. For what? Releasing a shitty album for free?

A shitty album is a shitty album no matter how much it costs.

11/5/07- Crock of shit...

Have you seen the latest trend in footwear lately? It's something called "crocks": shoes that are made of a Styrofoam-like stuff that have holes in them and (supposedly)reduce odor.

As you can tell by the photo above, they are quite possibly the ugliest things anyone could possibly wear. You may be saying: But Vin, you don't know shit about fashion or any of that faggot stuff. What gives you the right to judge others appearance?

Well, I may not be gay, but I know enough to realize when something looks ridiculous. And these "crocks" look like half-melted Styrofoam beer holsters. I was also alerted by someone that you can buy a cream called "crock butter" that you rub on the shoes in order to diminish odor.

This is a typical case-and-point about this fad-footwear. The company claims that the shoes are odorless, yet you have to buy a separate cream to rub on the shoe in order to get rid of fucking odor.

It's just a huge scam. They sell the shoes fairly cheap, but rip you off by making their profits on the "crock butter". Dear God, even the name "crock butter" sounds so obviously lame and contrite that people should be immediately suspicious.

This country's gone to shit. No, this country's gone to crock butter.

11/3/07- Saturday Night Live...

This week's live cut is of Green Day performing "When I Come Around" at the now infamous Woodstock '94. Note the amount of mud. Enjoy.

11/2/07- Drive my car(off a cliff, you bitch)...

If I were to tell you that Paul McCartney's ex-wife, Heather Mills, wanted $100,000,000 from their divorce settlement, what would your reaction be? Let me answer that for you.

You: What the fuck? That gold digging slut. How dare she ask for more then $3 million, let alone $100,000,000. I hope Mark David Chapman kills her and is given a knighthood by the queen. Get AIDs and drop dead, you whore.

All good answers. The fact is that not only is she asking for an insane amount of money, but she's taking it from Paul McCartney. What kind of person has the balls to take that kind of cash away from the most beloved and respected musician in history? Apparently his ex-wife.

Now she's going around complaining that the media is painting her to be a gold digger and a bitch. Whaaaaaaaaa! Cry me a fucking river. You claim not to be a gold digger, but at the same time are trying to fleece $100,000,000 from Paul McCartney. Did YOU write "Abby Road"? Did YOU write "The White Album"? NO! So, therefore you are entitled to nothing.

I like how she claims to have been well known before marrying an ex-Beatle. Yeah, right. Because her charity work was the reason she was on "Dancing with the Stars"(and i'm using the term "stars" very loosely).

11/1/07- The fun machine took a shit and died...

The past week has been quite a jolly fucking mess. No, I did not take a break or contemplate getting rid of this site. The reason I have been gone for the past week is because, for some unexplained reason, the server broke down.

I apologize deeply from the bottom of by blackened, cynical, obnoxious heart. If this ever happens again I will be forced to switch to a new domain address. But for now, the show must go on.

Instead of taking Sundays off, I will put up posts for, at least, the next few weeks in order to make up for lost time. In fact, expect another post later today.

Once again to reiterate: My server broke down, I'm now back online, I'm sorry for the inconvenience, regular programming to continue tonight.

10/24/07- VAF89 Mailbag...

It's that time again where I attempt to answer some hate mail. If you read yesterday's post, then you will be happy to hear that every piece of hate mail today was culled by me with specific note to yesterday's post. Let's get started, shall we.

Bill from Toronto, Canada wrote:

"What the fuck was that? You wrote a fake pilot with some shitty plot involving greed and how it corrupts us to the point of destruction. Gay. I could write a better draft while taking a shit in my bathtub. You suck."

First of all, when do you ever see a rough draft about the future that includes the theory that greed will be the thing to do us in? I'd say that I at least score some points there. Second, why in God's name would you take a shit in your bathtub? And third, saying "you suck" is a blatant cop-out of an insult. You honestly couldn't come up with anything more creative? "You suck" coming from the man who claims that he can, no less, write an entire story draft while simultaneously shitting in his bathtub.

Pete from Anchorage, Alaska wrote:

"That story outline you wrote was a complete waste of my time. I just lost ten minutes of my life reading that. I hope that you're happy."

Yes, I am happy. I am, at this very moment, laughing at the fact that you bitch to me about wasting your time, yet you just wasted your own time writing a shitty piece of hate mail to me. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you irony.

Paulie from Gainsville, South Carolina wrote:

"Lance MacGuffin is a uninspired and faggotty name."

I respect your opinion about the name being "faggotty", but uninspired? I used the word MacGuffin because the literal definition of the word is "to act as nothing more then a vehicle to move the plotline along". This relates to the fact that Lance acts as nothing more then a narrator and example of the real story that is the deconstruction of society by way of it's lust for greed. Next time, learn to read between the fucking lines, you faggot. What kind of a name is Paulie anyway? It's so faggotty and uninspired.

10/22/07- Pilot idea #16582...

This is a new segment where I debut an original short story that I feel might have the trappings of the beginnings of a movie or T.V. show. Feel free to provide me with feedback at vaf89@hotmail.com. Your feedback will be evaluated and commented on in a special "Mailbag" segment to be posted tomorrow. Enjoy.



3001: A space tragedy

It is the year 3001. Our world is one of ruin and peril. Humans have been relegated to the role of “pitiful warrior” under the rule of President Nixon. Let me explain. My name is Lance MacGuffin, and this is my story.

Around 2350 our best and brightest scientists discovered a way to keep humans alive…somewhat. You see, they weren’t able to revive human bodies, but instead, were able to revive human brains and tissue. Basically, this allowed for dead people to have their heads revived and placed into glass containers that are filled with serum X159(a liquid that, in lemans terms, allows the head to function, think, and talk). Thus entered a time of awe and wondrous amazement at the reality that our deceased family members could now be brought back from death to live with us all again, albeit in a lesser form.

Fast forward to the Earth election of the year 2999. Every single President that ever held the office is now in the current running. Washington, Lincoln, and Gore(elected in 2008 as the Green party candidate) were all close front-runners up until Nixon threw his hat into the ring. The time we lived in just a few years ago was one of absolutely zero worry. So, while Washington, Lincoln, and Gore were touting a strategy of diplomacy, Nixon held onto a platform loaded with grand promises of unattainable wealth and fortune to be granted to all humans. He threw out one crazy fishing line, but, for some reason, people bit. Nixon won with the biggest landslide in voting history with 87% of all Earth voters. I remember saying that day: May God have mercy on us all.

Within the first few months of his tenure, Nixon gave every man, woman, and child on Earth $1,000,000. It was meant to be a quick fix to any and all problems that the average family might encounter. But with great wealth came great power, and with great power comes great responsibility. Responsibility that the people of Earth were not ready to handle. People took their money and became power-hungry. People used the money to buy protection: weapons, security systems, hired muscle. People slowly became defensive. They grew to believe that everyone was out to steal their possessions, of which were vast. Arguments became riots, and riots became bloodbaths. People had grown to become too materialistic. The National Guard couldn’t break up the riots because the people starting the riots were able to afford weapons and defense equipment that was on par, if not better, then theirs. This brings me to the present day: The Apocalypse.

The Apocalypse did not come in the form of four horsemen. It came in the form of six billion people that have way too much money and no way to control their lust for greed. I live in a small system of underground tunnels that were left behind from the war of 2476. I am surrounded with the few people, like me, that did not fall for Nixon’s cop-out of a platform. We return to the surface only to stock up on food and water, nothing else. I have no family. My wife and daughter were killed by surface dwellers that had literally gone crazy with power. Power that was given to them by their wealth. Wealth that was given to them by Nixon.

I used to spend my days playing with my little girl in the backyard and making love to my wife. Now my days are filled with playing mind games to keep occupied and making love to a bottle of water that I pretend is whiskey. I can remember times of great joy: watching my daughter run off to her first day of preschool, marrying my wife, spending time together with close friends. Now I can remember more recent times of great fear and sadness: the day the riots started, the time that a surface dweller found our hideout and I was forced to kill him, and the day my family was taken from me way too soon.

Nixon? I don’t know what happened to him. Maybe he jumped on Space Force One and fled to the Moon colony. Hopefully, maybe the surface dwellers realized what had become of them and decided to destroy the root of their problem. Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me now. All I am concerned about is living to write to you[someone, anyone] another day. For when this moment in history passes, it must never be forgotten. It must be used as an example of what can happen when greed and power get into the hands of many.

Greed has turned a once peaceful race into an army of pitiful warriors: people who fight for survival in a battle that never had to happen yet is now necessary if you absolutely desire to stay alive.

10/20/07- Saturday Night Live...

This week's live cut is of Black Sabbath performing "Iron Man" at Ozzfest 2006. Enjoy.

10/19/07- State of the Blog...

State of the Blog for 10/19/07:

* Halloween. Yes, there will be a few Halloween blogs in the works for the next few weeks. So stop asking me.

* November. I'm waiting for Halloween to be over before I start posting more interviews again. Believe me when I tell you that I have some pretty interesting people lined up. They're just all penciled in for November.

* Christmas. Christmas? Yes, Christmas. I am going to be taking my next extended(week long) break the week of Christmas. As such, I am planning a huge blowout of rare and previously unreleased postings and essays penned by yours truly. It will be my Christmas gift to you all. What will this mean/entail? See the next bulletin.

* My Christmas gift of B-sides and rarities will include:

- Full length threads started by me from various message boards.
- The best posts of mine from various message boards.
- Links to the top 5 blogs of mine from this site this year.
- Humorous editorials from my high school years.
- College essays of mine that may or may not interest you.
- And a "failed interview" that makes my interview with Patton Oswalt look phenomenal by comparison(more details on who the "failed interview" was with in December).

10/18/07- Review: The Mix-Up...

Only real Beastie Boys fans bothered to pick up a copy of their latest album "The Mix-Up" this past summer. Which is a damn shame. The album got a bum rap from casual fans due to the fact that it was an album compiled of all original instrumentals.

These instrumentals were a cool blend of rock, funk, and hip-hop that solidified the genius of the Beastie Boys for those who were ever on the fence. I guarantee that a good handful of these tracks will find their way onto several movie soundtracks in the coming years.

People forget that one of the reasons that the Beastie Boys have such high credibility is because, unlike most hip-hop artists that use rock music, they actually compose and play their own stuff. Not only that, but what they play is actually surprisingly well thought out and well crafted.

Don't believe me? Give a listen to "Off the grid"(track 7) and I dare you to not echo the thoughts of the last paragraph.

Recommended Tracks: 3, 5, 7, 8.

10/17/07- "Torre trouble" or "Joe blows"...

Today, New York Yankee management went down to their Florida training camp to decide on the fate of manager Joe Torre.

What is there to discuss? The guy got the Yankees to the playoffs every single year of his tenure so far. Why fire him? Oh, because he hasn't won a World Series in seven years. Whaaaaa! Cry me a fucking river.

God forbid the Yankees don't win five World Series' in a fucking row. Most teams could only dream of making it to the playoffs every year. In my opinion, once a team makes it to the playoffs it's up to the players to push themselves and get motivated enough to win.

The Cubs haven't won a title in 86 years, you don't hear them bitching and moaning over it. George Steinbrenner needs to die already and let more capable hands manage his million dollar Mexicans.

Besides, how can you blame the Yankees choking in the playoffs on Torre? Was Torre the one who was pitching shitty or striking out at bat? I think not. What about Gay-Rod? If anything, fire his overpaid ass for choking for the third straight year in the playoffs.

Bottom line: Leave Torre be, fire A-Rod, and may George Steinbrenner die a quick and painful death befitting of the cold, heartless bastard he is.

10/15/07- The Price is Right(albeit a tad overweight)...

Today marked a new era in television history. The Price is Right began it's 36th season run sans Bob Barker. Instead, Drew Carey takes the helm of the greatest game show in history. And it's not bad.

Seriously, it's actually pretty damn good. Carey actually bring something to the table that Barker never could have: the ability to tell jokes and crack wise. While Barker was certainly the most respected and professional host around, he still came across a bit cold. It always felt as if you could easily piss him off by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Carey, on the other hand, is the proverbial everyman. Not to mention that he looks like he jumped out of 1973, with his army cut hair and thick glasses. This style keeps in line one very important aspect of The Price is Right: timelessness. It's been the same game for years and it's great every time. The whole retro-70s look has been a staple of the show forever. Why change it?

I think that the future of our favorite game show is in good hands. So the next time you're out sick or don't have class around 11:00am, have no fear. Your favorite t.v. pastime is still fun, still retro-comfort t.v., and still full of college students and old people freaking out about the chance to win a shitty dinette set and matching golf clubs.

10/13/07- Saturday Night Live...

This week's live cut is of Slipknot performing "The Heretic Anthem" live on Conan, airdate August 15, 2000. Remember: all month long we're celebrating Halloween by bringing you rare, live sets from the darkest relms of the Metal universe. Enjoy.

10/12/07- Review: Era Vulgaris...

I'm well aware that Queens of the Stone Age released their latest album over the past summer. But, while it sold well, it didn't sell as well as people thought it would. In my opinion, it will eventually be their one album that, when people look back on their entire discography, will be seen as the underrated album.

It has a unique sound to it, as every Queens... album does. This is due to the fact that no two albums are ever recorded by the same lineup. Lead singer, Josh Homme, makes damn sure that people get a fresh experience every time they listen to a new album. If for no other reason, this is why you should give this album a listen if you passed over it during summer.

The sound is very cold and robotic. This is a good thing. What I'm saying is that it feels as if they somehow took guitars, drums, bass, a powerdrill, and fire, put them in a blender and churned out an album.

Tracks recommended: 2, 6, 7, 8.

10/11/07- Asshole of the month...

This month's asshole:



Jason Conti from Bethesda, Maryland

Young James was feeling quite bored one day and decided to spice things up. So he went to his kitchen, and while preparing dinner for him and his roommate, decided to relieve his bladder into the chicken noodle soup. Thus, transforming it from chicken noodle soup into pee soup. When his roommate came home, he sat down and drank the entire pee soup, complaining throughout that it "tasted a little funny". Well, the roommate wasn't laughing when he found out that James had pissed in his soup. He punched James in the face and stormed out of the apartment, never to return there again.

For taking a piss in your friend's chicken noodle soup, I crown you, James Conti, this month's "Asshole of the month"!

Send your submissions for "Asshole of the month" to: assholeofthemonth@hotmail.com.

10/10/07- The gay white way...

The New York Times is reporting that Broadway may go on strike next week. The only question left to ask: Who gives a shit?

I honestly don't know one person who has ever been even remotely passionate about going to see a play(on Broadway or off). The only people who have major hard-ons for musicals are chubby girls who had no friends in high school, drama club fags, and 90 year old women who are close to grim death.

Why would I go to see a bunch of flamboyant "actors" play dress-up and sing showtunes, when I could be at home watching people beat the shit out of each other in "300" on a crystal-clear high-definition television? It doesn't make sense.

"Oh, but what about "The Producers"? It was a comedy that only the likes of Broadway could make shine."

Fuck "The Producers" on Broadway! They took a great Mel Brooks classic and fagged it all up. Nathan Lane? Come on. And God knows that Matthew Broderick hasn't been funny, nor relevant since "Ferris Buellers Day Off".

Face it, Broadway, you're washed up, a has-been, you're old news. The future[present] is in motion pictures and new-fangled digital video discs. The lights are on, but nobody's home. You're just like grandpa: old, dated, and even though you're still alive, nobody cares enough to visit you anymore.

10/8/07- Screwed, Royally...

America has completely gone down the shithole. From the media to the culture, and the people who make up both. America has nothing to [willingly]stride for anymore.

We used to be a country the strided to one day create citizens and role-models that would rival the British Royal Family in their heyday. We were close to it, back in the first half of the twentieth century. But now look at our "royalty".

After J.F.K. Jr. died, America's "royalty" went to shit. Now people like Britney Spears and the Hilton family are considered America's high society. Are you fucking kidding me? How did this happen? It boggles the mind on a level that the human brain simply can't comprehend.

There were no set chain of events that led to this decline. It just happened out of thin air. That's what perplexes me. How could the definition of American high-class be raped of it's glory in one fell swoop?

This very topic itself contains so little logic that would point towards an answer that the whole thing becomes painfully redundant. That's fucking sad. What happened to you, America? You've settled on a roadside skank, when you know that you could easily marry perfection.

10/6/07- Saturday night live...

This week's live cut is of Rob Zombie performing "American Witch" live on Letterman from October 25, 2006.

10/5/07- It came from Craigslist!...

It's time again to venture into the bowels of the most popular classified section in America: Craigslist. This month's selection comes from the "Items Wanted" section of the San Fransisco Craigslist.

Subject: "Human Skull"

"I am looking for anyone who has recently had a passing in their family. I am seeking a generous person who would be willing to donate their deceased family member's skull to me. I will pay you upwards of $5,000 for the skull(depending on it's size, shape, color...etc).

You may be wondering why, exactly, I require the human skull? Well, I am a Satanist. This month I am hosting a Halloween ritual in which I require a [human]skull to drink pig blood from. If you want me to go into more detail about what the ritual will mean for your loved one's deceased head, contact me at 1-(315)-***-****. But you can rest assured that the skull will be treated with the utmost care and dignity during the sacred ritual.

You are free to come and join in the ritual as well, so long as you have confirmed that the skull, in fact, belongs to a member of your immediate family.

Peace, love, and Satan -Horny Greg"

10/4/07- History 101: Surf Wax America...

I'm starting a new segment in which I look back and examine different periods in U.S. history. Today I will be focusing on the 1950's.

The fifties. The world was a much different place back then. People were enjoying the music of bands like the Beach Boys, Jay Black and the Americans, and Elvis(pre-morbid obesity and drug use). Air raid and nuclear fallout drills were all the rage. Blacks drank from separate fountains and took seats in the backs of public buses from sea to shining sea. Fads like surfing and racism were sweeping the nation. It was truly a great time to be alive.

Now look at us. Music has gone to shit. We actually need to bring back those nuclear fallout drills. Black people roam free in the night. Surfing isn't as popular, but racism is hotter then ever. Isn't that right, Michael Richards?

Even though this was a time of "innocence" in America, there was some pretty heavy shit going down in the backdrop of the decade. When you really think about it, it was a pretty fucking scary time to be alive. There was the threat of war at any moment. Race riots were common everyday happenings. Disease ran rampant.

Nowadays, we are actually part of several wars. Race riots happen in places like schools now. Diseases of the past, like Polio, are virtually eliminated, but now we have AIDs to deal with instead.

Was it really more care-free back then? Or are we possibly safer now?

10/2/07- State of the Blog...

The Rundown:

* Guests. Not this week, but in the weeks to come, I will be posting more interviews with comics and personalities. So there.

* October. All month long, in honor of October being the month where Rock music seems to be king, I will be posting reviews of new albums as well as a few albums that you may have overlooked from this past year. So if you notice a strange abundance of music reviews, don't say I didn't tell you about it. Also, I refuse to call it "Rocktober". Something about it just feels lame. In other words: I don't want 500 e-mails telling me to call this month "Rocktober", because it's not happening.

* Theme week. Yes, the next theme week will be the week of Halloween. It will begin the Friday before Halloween and will go until Wednesday(Halloween).

* Saturday night live. All month long, the very popular segment of live sets from great artists: "Saturday night live" will be filled with artists that embody the black heart of heavy metal in honor of Halloween.

* Send any and all feedback to: vaf89@hotmail.com

* Send your stories and pictures for "Asshole of the month" to: assholeofthemonth@hotmail.com

10/1/07- The B-side...

This month's serving of extra material that was cut for quality and length includes extra material from my interview with SNL's Will Forte, as well as a post about the MTV Video Music Awards that got cut because of length and redundancy. Enjoy.

This week's guest: Will Forte[bonus content]...

12. Out of all the guest hosts, Christopher Walken seems to be the one that everyone wants to know more about. Any interesting stories about him from a time when he hosted?

No. Not really. He hasn't hosted in a while and the last time he hosted, I was still pretty nervous around the hosts. So I never got a chance to really get to know him.


The last train[wreck] to obscurity...

The VMAs were last night, and MTV has officially killed the last shred of musical programming on it's network.

From the fact that their musical "performances" were nothing more then ringtone length clips of songs, to the notion that MTV's "savior" would come in the form of a chubby, scantily-clad, has-been, lip-syncing, sorry excuse for a human life, also known as Brittany Spears. This shit literally writes itself. By posting a story about this debacle would only prove to be time-wasting and redundant.

You already know how to feel about this one. There's no need for me to spell any of it out for you.

9/29/07- Saturday night live...

This week's live cut is of a 1995 performance of "Buddy Holly" by Weezer, recorded at an unknown venue in California.

9/28/07- Vaf89 Mailbag...

It's that time again. The time, each month, where I dig into my hundreds of e-mails and filter out only the best of the worst to be answered. "The Vaf89 Mailbag". Enjoy.

Frank from Georgia writes:

"In regard to your post about Dr. Seuss being gay, what evidence do you have to support such a brazen and childish claim? Or are you just making it all up? Maybe you're such a terrible blogger that you feel the need to mislead your readers and go off on wild rants about the sexual orientation of one of our greatest childhood heroes. It's people like you that make the terrorists hate us."

First of all, I severely doubt that I'm the reason that the terrorists hate us. If anything, they would love me for potentially soiling the legacy of one of America's most beloved childhood icons.

Second, I never actually claimed to have any evidence whatsoever that he was gay. I simply just went on a wild rant involving comical bulletpoints that made light of the fact that many of his books(intended for children, mind you) contained many homosexual innuendos. But to answer your question: Yes. I did make up everything in that post. Instead of being original and stealing jokes and ideas from somewhere else, I decided to come up with my own jokes and banter, and put them into print. Fucking idiot.

Jenna from Ohio writes:

"What the fuck do you have against EMOs?"

Dear Jenna,

You are a fucking douchebag. I refuse to be redundant, so I will direct you to the following link: http://vaf89.blogspot.com/2007/09/91207-vins-fg-uncensored-i-hate-emo.html

Now go run along and daydream of razorblades and pointless, silent rebellion.

Pete from Florida writes:

"How can you honestly say that Kanye West sucks? Where are your millions of dollars in album sales?"

I never said that he wasn't successful. I simply just said that he is a terrible artist that just so happens to be appealing to stupid white kids between the ages of 12-16 who live in large suburban areas, while simultaneously setting black people back 50 years. It's people like Kanye West that make the word "nigger" feel so right, when you know it's so wrong.

As for his millions of dollars in album sales, I hope that he loses all of it in a tragedy worse then 9-11, Pearl Harbor, and Hurricane Katrina combined. Also, like me, you too don't have millions of dollars in album sales. But, unlike me, you bought into his bullshit, subsequently adding to his millions of dollars. You should feel proud of yourself for successfully becoming a corporate tool.

9/27/07- Review: Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace...

As a staff member and reviewer for my local radio station(WSIA 88.9fm New York), I receive advance copies of all the new music that comes out several days or even a couple of weeks in advance. Recently I received an advance copy of the Foo Fighters new album "Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace".

To describe this latest offering from them as a solid effort would be a gross understatement. This might just be their best album since 1996's "The Colour and the Shape". "Echoes.." mixes some of the Foo Fighters strongest hard rock to date with some of their greatest acoustic work to date.

The album starts off with "The Pretender", "Let it Die", and "Erase/Replace". All solid tracks of stylized rock excellence. Then the album moves into more acoustic territory, but quickly jump right back into familiar territory to their last album "Skin and Bones".

It's tracks like the aforementioned "Let it Die" that make you realize how much better Linkin Park's latest album could have been. In other words: This album puts every other major rock album that was released this year to shame and shows you how the big boys do it.

Only the Foo Fighters could successfully create an album that brings together the best aspects of hard rock and acoustic offerings.

Recommended tracks: 1, 2, 3, 4, 7.