Monday, March 12, 2007

3/12/07- Sequel is a French word for juicing a dried fruit...

Why are there so many shitty sequels and prequels coming out these days? Have the production geniuses in Hollywood finally ran out of ideas?

Don't get me wrong here, I do enjoy a good sequel when it is done right. But lets be honest here, it seems as if 1 out of every 3 movies put out today are sequels. And on top of that they are sequels that nobody even asked for. Here are a few prime examples:

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"Van Wilder 2: The rise of Taj". What the fuck? What film wizard was sitting in a board meeting one day and actually had the though going through his head of even making such a colossal piece of shit? Even though Van Wilder is absolutely nowhere to be found in the entire movie, they kept the name anyway. And on top of that they replaced him with his Indian sidekick Taj. Why? Why would someone ever green light this concept? It would be like making "Animal House 2" and getting rid of John Belushi and instead replacing him with the other fat delta frat brother from the first movie.

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Speaking of movies without John Belushi, "Blues Brothers 2000" is another shining example of a sequel that a) never needed to be made in the first place, and b) made us all learn to hate John Goodman and hate Dan Akroyd even more. Why did they think that they could just replace Belushi with any old other portly rotund fat man? And Dan Akroyd could have said no to this project but instead decided that he needed to pay off a bank loan or a mortgage on his second home. That big sell out.

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The last example I'll use for today is "Dumb and Dumberer". Now, to their credit, the producers were able to find two people that looked the part exactly and acted it to a tee. But, that doesn't excuse them from the fact that this was one of the shittiest prequels I've ever seen. You know your movie sucks when the only funny line in the whole movie is Bob Saget yelling the word shit a thousand times.

And the studios are still cranking out sequels, and even testing the waters and pressing their luck even further with sequels to sequels. Like "Shrek 3". Why? If I wanted to see a steaming pile of green shit I'd watch my neighbor's dog take a crap down a grassy knoll. End of story