Yeah, I know. I said I was only going to make this a monthly thing. Then why am I doing two of these in the same month? Because I like my readers and listen to their every suggestion? Because I'm kick starting this feature with a bonus edition for this month only? Nah. I'm just fucking bored and can't think of any major topic to write about. Just think of this as a bunch of mini-blogs. Like mini-pizzas but twice as delicious.
* Is it considered a drinking problem when you refer to beer as: pain go bye bye juice?
* Would Guns & Roses have had the same impact if it were called: Guns & Lilac?
* If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
* Well, we're officially out of black history month. So to celebrate, I now present you with a classic black joke. What's the difference between a pizza and a black guy? A pizza can feed a family of four. Ha Ha. You blacks are alright, real good sports. But watch out puerto ricans, because you're next. And by the way. If I find the dirty spik who's been stealing my hubcaps, I'll stab that motherfucker right in his webos. capiche?
* Jesse Jackson is NOT the emperor of black people.
* In the immortal words of Vanilla Ice: "To the extreme I rock the mic like a vandal, Light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle".
* Eddie Murphy is to Charlie Murphy as Rick James is to M.C. Hammer....Think about it.
* Oxy-Moron # 472: Clown College.
* If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it fall, then who really gives a shit?
* Why is the show "Friday Night Lights" on Tuesday nights? Why not show "Saturday Night Live" on Mondays or "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" on mid days while you're at it?
THE END....OR IS IT?