Last Saturday I went to the Sea Wave for about 40 minutes. It was just way too gay for my taste. I felt like I was the tallest person there. Everyone was either a freshman or an incoming freshman, and all of them were around 4'2 and all homo. Pink shirts, gelled hair, squeaky voices, the whole nine........the whole faggy, faggy nine.
So I walked right on out the door and headed to this kid S****'s house who was having a party in lieu of the Sea Wave. I got to S****'s house and there were a few people there and it was starting to rain. So we attempted to put a tarp up over the backyard and held the tarp up with a basketball hoop:
After we got that whole mess set up everyone started getting drunk. My friend K**** was playing beer pong and got so wasted. He had to have drank no less then 10 beers in like 15 minutes. He's also one of those happy-go-lucky drunks that goes around telling everyone that he loves them. He kept coming up to me and hugging me, telling me that I was the "fucking man" and that "when I die, I'm going right to the front of the line". Line for what? Hell? Was he planning on killing me while I wasn't looking or something, but got too drunk to carry out his plans?
There were plans to have a kiddie pool set up filled with KY jelly that girls would wrestle in, but my friend M*** dropped the ball on that one and was too fucking lazy to go get the jelly. I had a feeling it wasn't going to happen because the sheer logistics of it are insane to begin with. Do you realize how much money you would need to afford the amount of jelly needed to fill a kiddie pool with KY jelly?
Then, and this is where the shit started to hit the fan and the whole night started to spiral downhill, this kid, R*****, who used to go to my school but got kicked out, started drinking.......ALOT, and THEN he chugged a whole bottle of vodka.(responsible drinking at its finest) He then slipped and fell backwards not once, not twice, but three times. And on the third time he fell backwards and hit the back of his head on a slab of concrete. It was bleeding pretty bad so they sent two people to drive him to the hospital. And the party continued. No big deal. It was only just a kid with a bleeding head and a blood alcohol level of .34, no reason to stop the party, right?
So the party continued until D** pulled up in S****'s driveway honking his horn for 20 seconds too long while everyone yelled excitedly as it was announced that the keg had arrived. No reason at all for the neighbors to look out their windows in anger and suspicion as they now watched a bunch of underage teens hauling a keg out of a trunk. As was expected, one of the neighbors called the cops. When it was announced that the cops were on their way everyone immediately got the fuck out of there. I never saw a place clear out faster in my life. while everyone was leaving, S**** and a few other people closed the gate to his backyard and went to lay low inside his house. As I was walking up the block to wait for my ride(and not get caught by the cops) I looked behind me as the cops were just entering S****'s house. And thus my night ended with a veritable denouement full of downward spirals and drunken escapes into the night.
The next day I found out that S**** had been given a summons to appear in court. As for R*****, well, he had to get his stomach pumped as well as get his face punched in by his dad when he found out his son was drunk with a bloody head over at the hospital.
Good times guys........Good (drunken) times.
